Live-Blogging Eurovision. Y’know, ‘cos we can #3

I should probably let you know the scores are out of 5. Also, I’m breaking out the Cava in a minute.

Georgia – Sofia Nisharadze, Shine

Campness – 5. Cross over the crotch.

Costume. 2. Saved by the crotch (see above)

Lyrics. Dull.

Performance – 2. Dramatic. But shit.

Singing – 4.5 Only redeeeming feature.

Turkey, maNga, We Could Be The Same

Campness – 0. Despite the name. Sucked the campness out of the room. At Eurovision

Costume – 4. Power Ranger Helmet. For realz yo

Lyrics – ?!

Performance – 4. Metal rap with robots.

Singing – 1. The tune was pretty good.

Albania – Juliana Pasha, It’s All About You

Campness – 3. Electro dancing. Madonna would be proud.

Costume – Madonna-ish. See above.

Performance – 2.  Amy J: Violinist looks like Robert Smith/Tim Burton

Singing – 3. Total rip-off of Katy Perry ‘I Kissed A Girl’

Iceland – Hera Bjork, Je ne sais quoi

Campness – 3.5

Costume – 0. The dress is not flattering. Chiffon tent. We love big but that’s not beautiful

Lyrics – weird mix of languages. As far as we can tell.

Performance – 1

Singing – 3. Good voice. Tune kinda awesome.

If she was standing here she’d score more. She’s kinda terrifying

Ukraine – Alyosha, Sweet People

Campness – 0. Kinda metal. The gays would love her hair though. I do too.

Costume – 3. Love the hood. Practical and versatile. Also loving the make-up.

Lyrics – 0. Can’t tell what she’s saying.

Performance – 2. The wind machine is BACK. Like The Terminator! Yeah. Love the pop culture references. Ooo and flashing lights.

Singing – 2. Weird mix of genres.

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