Live-Blogging Eurovision Finale

And you thought it would never end. Neither did we. Why did Spain get to sing twice? I didn’t even notice the rogue audience member.

So what’s our final verdicts? My money’s on Maldova. You know, if I had money on it. I read somewhere that people were trying to claw money back out of Greece by betting on them. The odds have gone from 50-1 to 20-1. Babes, not sure that’s how the economy works.

Amy J is also going for Maldova. Or maybe Serbia. Or Greece. For non-economic reasons. We love European Gaga knock-offs.

Bwahahaha at the guy trying to sell pizza in the break. For reals that’s a microwave on stage.

Amy J’s boyf isn’t sure if the girl from Armenia is actually a girl (Apricot Stone girl with the big breasts) but claims he still would. She’s glad to know he’s fussy.

If I’ve learnt anything tonight, it’s that Europe loves wind machines. And that we secretly love wind machines but we only borrow them.

My Dad’s just given me stats which I’ve instantly forgotten about how few Eurovision countries are European. We should make Worldvision. And then we could spread the love to Courtney who has never heard of this gayfest.

This might have been my favourite night for a long time. Except for that Brazilian BBQ I went to with the boyf where I got a little tipsy on Caprinha. At least this time I don’t have hiccups. I always get hiccups when I drink. It sucks.

Anyway, stay posted for the results….

LINES ARE CLOSED. OMG. Are you ready? Oooo 2nd black man on the show. Way to go for equality peeps. These guys are pimped out. Love the purple suit. And Graham Norton’s commentary. MORE DANIEL DANCING! Babe, is this where you get all your moves?

Most complicated flashmob ever. Yeah, we’re all sharing the moment. Great. They’re all professional dancers anyway. OMG I know that girl in the green hoody. Well, no she’s Lithuanian. But someone I know looks just like her. Flashmob kinda looks like the end of Slumdog Millionaire. ZOMG ZOMG the UK flashmob was filmed in The Pantiles. I could have been there! Except I can’t dance. Are we going to get the results soon?

The man, the myth…the EXECUTIVE SUPERVISOR. FOR REALS MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN LEADING UP TO THIS MOMENT. Oh wait…. He looks like he could be a supermarket manager. Actually, my managers dress better. And that’s saying something.

Oooo eyebrow lady’s back!!

10 points to Maldova!! And 4 points for UK! That’s better than nul! Wooo!

Okay, I’m just gonna wait until the end to inform you of the points. It’s gonna be looonnngggg….

Denmark is gonna win. Not cool.

Oh no, Germany. Also Estonian Cruella De Ville is singing the results. This is blowing my mind. We liked German Avril though, so it’s okay.

I think we might be stuck on 5 points. Germany is beating us 101 to 5. Well, it’s time they won something. Oh yeah. I went there with the world war jokes. I know, original. Don’t mention the war.

There are a lot of ex-porn stars/mail-order brides presenting the points.

Yay we have 7! Why is Georgia getting so many points? They had crosses on their crotches. Oh wait, they had crosses on their crotches!

How is Belgium getting so many? He was in love with his fricking guitar! The love that dare not speak it’s name…

This might be the first time we’ve ever beaten Ireland at singing.

Lena hearts Germany. We kinda heart her. Latvia hearts you too!

Bwahahaha at Maltese lady. It’s Homer Simpson’s mumu!

Bitch no! Ireland has got more points than us! Nooooo!

I bet my brother voted for maNga. Also we blatantly voted for Greece on the basis of Club 18-30.

Yet more porn stars. What a shock. The Netherlands liked Armenia’s big tits.


Germany’s won 🙂 Not a bad choice, we liked her. She seems nice. We heart her.

So that’s all from us! If you stayed awake, thanks for reading!


Amy and Amy



One Comment on “Live-Blogging Eurovision Finale”

  1. Courtney S. says:

    Worldvision for reals, guys. The U.S. needs to get in on this shit.

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