What She Said #4

From the fbomb again.

Two of the more socially acceptable, yet idiotic, terms are “Pro-Life” and “Pro-Abortion.” Let me just say this: is anyone PRO abortion? Who seriously sits around and is like, “You know what’s awesome…ABORTION! I think EVERYONE should get one!” The answer is no one…that’s just not what the debate is about. Similarly, I doubt that anyone involved in the abortion debate is Anti-Life. The debate is about CHOICE. So if all people were knowledgeable, terms like Pro-Life and Pro-Abortion wouldn’t be thrown around in intellectual conversation. Instead, the terms “pro-choice” and
“anti-choice” would be the more appropriate ones, because they are the ones that truly describe the two sides of the debate.

Seriously this makes so much sense it’s unbelievable. That last sentence is just *it*. Whatever it is. The thing is it’s so easy to manipulate people with terms like pro-life and it shouldn’t be allowed. Because the term automatically sets up non-pro-lifers as anti-life. SO NOT COOL. I am pro-choice. You are anti-choice if you are not pro-choice. That is the facts. Deal with the fact that you hate women. And men. And everyone. Own it.

 Thankfully we don’t have such a furore about reproductive rights in the UK, but Cameron was promising to reduce the deadline for abortions. I’ve said it before – no uterus/medical qualification, no opinion dammit! No doubt we’ll have the ‘think of the children’ brigade out as soon as that happens. I hope it doesn’t. I have better things to do than persuade all the Daily-Mail-Readers in my family that the fact that a foetus managed to grab a doctors finger one time does not mean that we can choose for someone else whether they have  a baby or not. You know, if they’ve been raped. Or would die. Or whatever their reasons is. It’s NOT OUR CHOICE. Which is surprising, given how pro-choice we are 😛


So now we’re victim blaming 8 year olds?

I was reminded of this case today when reading the girl’s mother’s account in a paper today at work (I forget which one). Two 10-year-old boys were convicted of attempting to rape an 8-year-old. I don’t know the ins-and-outs and it worries me what they had been exposed to if they knew what they were doing. I hope that they didn’t and it was just a game gone too far.

But what distressed me was the way that the defense treated the girl. I know that it is their job to try and defend the two boys and as such proving her to be a liar was perhaps their method. But really? Surely it’s using leading questioning to convince the girl to tell the jury that she’d lied because she was worried about getting sweets? She’s 8 years old for god’s sake. She doesn’t know what rape is. She would hardly be lying. Especially for sweets.

But it’s symptomatic of this world where the only rape cases that get reported are those in which the girl has lied about the situation. Whilst that is an awful thing to happen, it is no worse and no more remarkable than an actual rape. And it creates a world where there’s always the inclination to think that the girl (or boy to be fair) is lying for attention, for revenge, because of mental health problems, whatever. And now they’re doing this to an 8-year-old girl? She is the VICTIM. Hear that? VICTIM. She’s been assualted. If she had said they had tried to stab her would the lawyer have used the same tricks? I doubt it. This is why rape conviction rates are so low. This is why most people don’t feel comfortable coming forward when they’ve been raped and yet wouldn’t hesitate nearly as much if they had been mugged or simply just beaten up.

Maybe she should have worn one of these atrocious things?

Designed to prevent rape, it puts yet more onus on the victim. It’s victim blaming with yucky condoms. Firstly, if the guy gets that far then the rape has already occured. And secondly, do you really think that someone who’s just had his cock shredded is going to run away from his victim rather than inflicting his rage on her? Well done.

But even more than that, it’s not up to the victim to prevent rape. Obviously everyone should look after themselves, it would be silly to walk around alone after dark or get into a car with a stranger for example. But nothing you do means you deserved to be raped. If you didn’t wear a horrible condom with teeth in it all the time then it’s not your fault if you get raped. If you wear a short skirt or flirt with a boy or drink a bit too much – it is *not* your fault. Remember that.

So people, can we please just stop blaming ourselves for these things? Victim blaming is so 2009 and this is the future now so let’s make a change. Always assume that an accusation is real until proved otherwise, like you would with murder or theft or any other form of assualt. And don’t blame the victim anymore. Pretty please.

Live-Blogging Eurovision Finale

And you thought it would never end. Neither did we. Why did Spain get to sing twice? I didn’t even notice the rogue audience member.

So what’s our final verdicts? My money’s on Maldova. You know, if I had money on it. I read somewhere that people were trying to claw money back out of Greece by betting on them. The odds have gone from 50-1 to 20-1. Babes, not sure that’s how the economy works.

Amy J is also going for Maldova. Or maybe Serbia. Or Greece. For non-economic reasons. We love European Gaga knock-offs.

Bwahahaha at the guy trying to sell pizza in the break. For reals that’s a microwave on stage.

Amy J’s boyf isn’t sure if the girl from Armenia is actually a girl (Apricot Stone girl with the big breasts) but claims he still would. She’s glad to know he’s fussy.

If I’ve learnt anything tonight, it’s that Europe loves wind machines. And that we secretly love wind machines but we only borrow them.

My Dad’s just given me stats which I’ve instantly forgotten about how few Eurovision countries are European. We should make Worldvision. And then we could spread the love to Courtney who has never heard of this gayfest.

This might have been my favourite night for a long time. Except for that Brazilian BBQ I went to with the boyf where I got a little tipsy on Caprinha. At least this time I don’t have hiccups. I always get hiccups when I drink. It sucks.

Anyway, stay posted for the results….

LINES ARE CLOSED. OMG. Are you ready? Oooo 2nd black man on the show. Way to go for equality peeps. These guys are pimped out. Love the purple suit. And Graham Norton’s commentary. MORE DANIEL DANCING! Babe, is this where you get all your moves?

Most complicated flashmob ever. Yeah, we’re all sharing the moment. Great. They’re all professional dancers anyway. OMG I know that girl in the green hoody. Well, no she’s Lithuanian. But someone I know looks just like her. Flashmob kinda looks like the end of Slumdog Millionaire. ZOMG ZOMG the UK flashmob was filmed in The Pantiles. I could have been there! Except I can’t dance. Are we going to get the results soon?

The man, the myth…the EXECUTIVE SUPERVISOR. FOR REALS MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN LEADING UP TO THIS MOMENT. Oh wait…. He looks like he could be a supermarket manager. Actually, my managers dress better. And that’s saying something.

Oooo eyebrow lady’s back!!

10 points to Maldova!! And 4 points for UK! That’s better than nul! Wooo!

Okay, I’m just gonna wait until the end to inform you of the points. It’s gonna be looonnngggg….

Denmark is gonna win. Not cool.

Oh no, Germany. Also Estonian Cruella De Ville is singing the results. This is blowing my mind. We liked German Avril though, so it’s okay.

I think we might be stuck on 5 points. Germany is beating us 101 to 5. Well, it’s time they won something. Oh yeah. I went there with the world war jokes. I know, original. Don’t mention the war.

There are a lot of ex-porn stars/mail-order brides presenting the points.

Yay we have 7! Why is Georgia getting so many points? They had crosses on their crotches. Oh wait, they had crosses on their crotches!

How is Belgium getting so many? He was in love with his fricking guitar! The love that dare not speak it’s name…

This might be the first time we’ve ever beaten Ireland at singing.

Lena hearts Germany. We kinda heart her. Latvia hearts you too!

Bwahahaha at Maltese lady. It’s Homer Simpson’s mumu!

Bitch no! Ireland has got more points than us! Nooooo!

I bet my brother voted for maNga. Also we blatantly voted for Greece on the basis of Club 18-30.

Yet more porn stars. What a shock. The Netherlands liked Armenia’s big tits.


Germany’s won 🙂 Not a bad choice, we liked her. She seems nice. We heart her.

So that’s all from us! If you stayed awake, thanks for reading!


Amy and Amy


Live-Blogging Eurovision. Y’know, ‘cos we can #4

I’m handing over to the gorgeous Amy J now. Enjoy her witty commentary. I’ll be drinking Cava if you need me.

France – Jessy Matador, Alle Ole Ole

Hurray for the first black guy!

Campness – 4. What is with the hip thrust dance? And the arse – shake that thaaaang!

Costume – 2. Boring, could try harder

Lyrics – 3Like the French. Easy to follow the chorus

Performance – 5. Decent Dance. daniel dancing! African French!? Flips! what more could you want?! Oh and get that crowd involved!!

Singing – 4They sort of gave up and hummed? Catchy nonetheless

Romania – Paula Selling and Ovi

My immediate reaction is what is that guy tapping his chest in an uber macho way?

Campness – 4. Leather. And Fire. Kinky…

Costume – 3. The leather is loved by Amy Liz

Lyrics – 3. Ok, average. I heard fire.

Performance – 4. Love the double ended piano, Same shop as previous neon violin?

Singing – 4. The ‘ahahaha’ reminds me of something. Nice little piano back tune. Did not expect that voice to come from the guy. Wow, she’s high.

Russia – Lost and Forgotten (We missed the name of the artist. It said and Friends?)

Norton says like it or loathe it. Drinking song you say? Well we have cava!

Campness – 4. Falling glitter

Costume – 2. Tramp chic with the scarf. Beard is too tidy against it.

Lyrics – What?

Performance – 3. Static. I think they were hoping the falling glitter would save them. And it’s very David Brent looking longingly at the picture of the girl. and our wind machine is back. Glitter is reminiscent of the motherland I guess!

“…but none of them was you” – Free Love Freeway on the Office

I received a text during this saying “In Russia does ‘photo’ mean ‘sketch done in Biro’?” It made me LOL.

Singing – 3. Operatic!

Armenia – Eva Rivas – Apricot Stone

Campness – 3.The innuendo certainly deserves camp points?

Costume – 4. We can be sure the cameraperson’s a guy cos of the boob close ups. Or a lesbian? not that you can miss them. They certainly went with the obvious matching the clothing colour with the song.

Lyrics – 5. Your ‘cherished fruit’ Are you speaking of those huge breasts?

Performance – 3.5. The dancer’s pretty hilarious. Crappy stone. Flicking her RIDICULOUSLY long hair, show off bitch.

Singing -3.5  Amy R: One of the background singers is clearly her mother. her really. fat. mother.

Germany – Lena – Satellite

Campness – 0.

Costume – 2.Scary goth girl. But she smiles!

Lyrics – 4. Not sure. She said Woo though, I liked it.

Performance – 3. Goth but mediterranean goth? She is a goth, german Avril Lavigne. See through floor points. background dancers hotter than her, hence hidden in mist.

Singing – 4. The tune’s brilliant, we’re bopping. Singing’s not great though. Accent is perhaps giving it pizzazz. She sings like Kate Nash!

Portugal – Filipa Azevedo

Campness – 2. The dress is showbiz

Costume – 3.5 I’m guessing she got engaged, but called the wedding off and needed to do something with the wedding dress.

Lyrics – I don’t understand what I assume is Portugeuse.

Performance – 3.5. Leona Lewis style boredom, which they tried to fix with a heavy drum breakdown into the verse.

Evidently wanted sex with the camera. Wind machine is back once again!

Singing – 3.5/4. Mariah style vocals

Israel – Harei Skaat –Milim

Campness – 0.

Costume – 1. Israeli Joe McElderry

Lyrics – ?. I wasn’t aware humans could make that throaty noise.

Performance – 2. Powerful you say Norton? It’s got a spotlight. So relying on the fact that his ‘character’ plays to the audience. Fraid he doesn’t have any.

Singing – 4.5. Not too bad.

The major problem with this is that he’s not European.

Denmark – Chanee & N’evergreen – A Moment Like This

Campness – 2. A little, the hair mainly

Costume – 4. We like the jacket, but the look is creepy. The guy looks like Julian Rhind Tutt, from Green Wing. I like the dress. Mismatched

Lyrics – 3. It’s familiar, not sure if they’re that good.

Performance – 3. Dramatic. Not in a good way. Bit creepy with the shadow thing.

Singing – 4. I’m not sure what’s with that accent. And a keychange! Beautiful.

Bets those two get it on later, if they’re not already.


No change, they still have their weird clockwork dancers and Hucknall-a-like. We’ve been informed their original performance was ruined by an audience member crashiing the stage. I’ll be honest, I thought that was part of their act.

Live-Blogging Eurovision. Y’know, ‘cos we can #3

I should probably let you know the scores are out of 5. Also, I’m breaking out the Cava in a minute.

Georgia – Sofia Nisharadze, Shine

Campness – 5. Cross over the crotch.

Costume. 2. Saved by the crotch (see above)

Lyrics. Dull.

Performance – 2. Dramatic. But shit.

Singing – 4.5 Only redeeeming feature.

Turkey, maNga, We Could Be The Same

Campness – 0. Despite the name. Sucked the campness out of the room. At Eurovision

Costume – 4. Power Ranger Helmet. For realz yo

Lyrics – ?!

Performance – 4. Metal rap with robots.

Singing – 1. The tune was pretty good.

Albania – Juliana Pasha, It’s All About You

Campness – 3. Electro dancing. Madonna would be proud.

Costume – Madonna-ish. See above.

Performance – 2.  Amy J: Violinist looks like Robert Smith/Tim Burton

Singing – 3. Total rip-off of Katy Perry ‘I Kissed A Girl’

Iceland – Hera Bjork, Je ne sais quoi

Campness – 3.5

Costume – 0. The dress is not flattering. Chiffon tent. We love big but that’s not beautiful

Lyrics – weird mix of languages. As far as we can tell.

Performance – 1

Singing – 3. Good voice. Tune kinda awesome.

If she was standing here she’d score more. She’s kinda terrifying

Ukraine – Alyosha, Sweet People

Campness – 0. Kinda metal. The gays would love her hair though. I do too.

Costume – 3. Love the hood. Practical and versatile. Also loving the make-up.

Lyrics – 0. Can’t tell what she’s saying.

Performance – 2. The wind machine is BACK. Like The Terminator! Yeah. Love the pop culture references. Ooo and flashing lights.

Singing – 2. Weird mix of genres.

Live-Blogging Eurovision. Y’know, ‘cos we can #2

Belgium – Tim Dice, Me and My Guitar

Campness – 1.5. Guitar love-in.

Costume – 0.

Lyrics – No mark. You’ve seen the name of the song right?

Performance – 2. “Come on Oslo!”

Singing – 4.5

Serbia – Milan Stankovic, Ove Ja Balkan

The set nearly fell down. But good effort. I think I saw that set in Oedipus once.

Campness – 6. He came out of a box. I’m a bit behind on blogging and this seems to be a theme. They’re obviously sharing with us.

Costume – 5.

Lyrics – ?

Performance – 5. He jumped.

Singing – 3.5.

Amy J: It was awesome.


Female presenter is overusing her eyebrows. A lot. Stop it. I think they’re independent from her face.

Belaraus – 3 + 2 feat. Robert Wells, Butterflies

Campness – 4.5 – lots of eyeliner and gold. Oooo sparkles!!

Costume – 5. BUTTERFLIES!

Lyrics – 2. A little patronising.

Performance – 1. Mostly because of the butterfly wings. *want*

Singing – 4

Also, we’ve totally found the Iranian Noel from Hearsay. Yeah, he exists.

Ireland – Niamh Kavanagh, It’s For You

Campness – Overrall not much but her chest was just encrusted with gay.

Costume – 2.5. Amazing colour dress.

Lyrics – 3

Performance – 3. Panpipes! Wind machine! (see what I mean about sharing set?)

Singing – 4.5

Seriously, could Ireland have been any more stereotypical?

Greece – Giorgos Alkaios and “friends”, Opa!

Amy R: I think I danced on top of a table to this song in Zante…

Campness – 5.5. Open shirts. Oh man…

Costume – 4

Lyrics – 5. OPA! WOOOOOOO!

Performance – 4.5. The dancing is AWESOME

Singing – 4.

UK – Josh Dubovie, That Sounds Good To Me

Doesn’t sound good to us. Bad name choice, babe. You make us use these awful puns.

Campness – 5. But British camp. Subtle. No glitter. *sad panda*

Costume – 3.5. Only ‘cos of the girl’s skirts

Lyrics – 0. The only one whose native language is English and still can’t get it right.

Performance – 4. Surprisingly. Box and wind machine. And steps. Don’t hurt yourself babe. And give the other countries back their set.

Singing – 3.5. The final note hurt my ears.

Live-Blogging Eurovision. Y’know, ‘cos we can

Right, so me and my bestie are watching Eurovision. And ‘cos this is my blog and you all obviously care so much about my opinion of everything (and the other Amy’s of course) here is what we’re thinking about Eurovision.

Azerbaijan – Safura, Drip Drop

Campness: 3.5 (upped my male…ballet…man)

Costume: 4. Amazing. Gay mermaid Michael Jackson.

Lyrics: 2.5

Performance: 3. Wind Machine. Classic

Actual singing: 3

Spain – Daniel Diges, Something Tiny

Campness – 2

Costume – 2

Performance – 4. Weird clockwork dancers. AND A MIME. ZOMG MIME.

Actual singing – 4

Norway – Didrik, My Heart Is Yours

Campness – 0. Disappointing

Costume – 2

Lyrics – 1. Bit of a fail.

Performance – 2 Actual singing – 1

Maldova – Sunstroke Project, Run Away

Campness – 5


Lyrics – ?

Performance – 5. See-through neon violin. Totally getting Kieran and Catherine one of those.

Actual singing – 3.5. Chooon.

Cyprus – John Lilypress and The Islanders, Life Looks Better In Spring.

Disappointing. Also, he was Welsh. Is this allowed?

Campness – 0

Costume – 0

Lyrics – 2.5 (average love song, blah blah)

Performance – 1. Cos the floor was see-through. It deserved a point.

Actual singing – 3.5/4. He was Welsh after all.

Bosnia and Herzogovina (sp?) – Vucasin Brajic, Thunder and Lightning

Campness – 3.5/4

Costume – 3 . A little Cheryl Cole with the red military jacket but it works.

Performance – 4. Mostly for effort.

Totally trying to be the Bosnian Placebo. Failing a little. But there was lunging!! Lunging!!